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The Elder’s Way and the Wordsmith

What follows below is a delightfully quirky response to participating in The Elder’s Way from Dave Golding, a recent graduate. Thanks Dave, you engage, deepen, entertain and inform in your own inimitable style. Keep them coming.


The waiting game

Just pretend you are thinking to yourself inside a soundproof room and I am not there.

Are you ready?

Actually don’t think, just answer.

Ask yourself, are you happy?

That question is to you. Nothing else.

Answer quicker this time and please, don’t bother thinking, just answer.

Are you happy enough inside you?

If you think those 2 questions were stupid and your blazing fast unthinking answer is YES, no ifs or buts, well excellent, I’m leaving the room and I hope we chat again soon.

Do not change what you are doing.

If all you can chat about is things like footy, the kids, work, the news, then maybe you need to answer the two questions you just asked yourself again.

No pressure, I am just checking for you. I only have your best interests at heart.

Remember it is just you in there, and even you will not get in much trouble for thinking about yourself for a minute or two. Are you too frightened of what you might see?


If you are still hearing my voice then you would prefer to be happier.

Your answer was no.

How long have you had the feeling you are not happy enough?

You can probably ride it out though huh?

You tick a lot of boxes eh?

You have responsibilities!

Hmmm, better put things off for a while, till the time is right. Wait a bit longer.

When the kids are older, when you retire, after the divorce maybe. When you get time. Things are too busy right now.

You can probably ride it out huh?

How old did you say you were? I didn’t catch it.

WOW, that old. How long have you been riding it out? It’s working for you?

Well you have been riding a long time now.

Should you be comfortable in the saddle by now?

It’s that feeling deep inside that you just can’t grind into dust.

You are missing out on too much of the fun.

You have filled the bank account with hard lifting, but the interest on the investment (measured in fun) is too low.

Sometimes the feelings sneaks up on you, sometimes you get angry, but it is hard to hold the rage for long enough. You suffer from chronic dissipation.

It is a bit smoke and mirrors unfortunately. Sand through the fingers and all that.

It will get better if you wait a little longer.                   Right?

Just ride it out.

Your share of fun will hopefully not be wasted by those who get to use it.

While you are riding it out.


Oh, you are still hearing me.

Well, I expect you are feeling something too, it’s getting personal now.

This is Men’s work.

What will people think of me?

The tipping point is when what people think, is less important than what you allow yourself to become.

It is what you need.

Do it now, you are ready.

It is the answer.

Do what?

A good place to start is the Men’s gathering held each year in Perth.

Guess what, first of all it is fun.

It is a welcoming and supportive weekend for real men.

You will still be you.

Dip your toe in the water.

Google it.

Men in Bali. Google it.

Maybe just wait a little longer, when the time is right. When your finances are better, when work dies down, or picks up.

Well you know the drill.

Dissipation is not your friend here.